My guest today is Allana Pratt. Allana is an intimacy expert. She helps her clients, many of them entrepreneurs and celebrities, to be unapologetically true to themselves. To their love lives, to their businesses. She’s the author of four books and host of the sexy, empowering show, Intimate Conversations. Welcome to Wings Allana.
Allana Pratt: It’s so great to be here Melinda Wittstock, and I can’t wait to have you on my sexy show, ’cause you are sexy.
Melinda Wittstock: Oh wow, well that’ nice. I would love to be on your show. I think it’s awesome what you’re doing and I am so curious about intimacy and what it has to do with being a super shero in the way that we show up as female entrepreneurs in our businesses.
Allana Pratt: Yes the way I like to break down the word intimacy is “In to me I see”. And so many of us as sheros we’re pushing and we’re pushing and we’re putting energy in and we’re trying to make things happen, but when we look on the inside we’re often coming from insecurity, doubt, we’re not good enough, what if they reject us. And so it’s an imbalance of energy and people feel it and they pull away. And we want them to be able to be attractive to their clients and have ease with attracting money.
And so when you do the intimacy work on the inside, what is your intimate relationship with yourself as a business woman? What is your intimate relationship with your business? What is your intimate relationship with money? And when you do the inner work to come to peace with your worth and really able to receive your worth in the form of charging your worth and money, you’ll find that going out there in the world to shine is more graceful and easy and your more magnetic to your ideal clients.
Melinda Wittstock: That sounds wonderful and I know from my personal experience that that is true, that it’s very difficult to create value in the world or to ask for your true value if you don’t value yourself.
Allana Pratt: Yeah.
Melinda Wittstock: And so, how does this manifest to some of your clients who come to you with, maybe they’re blocked in kind of growing their business, their businesses plateaued out, or they’re just not closing the kind of sales or the capital investment they want to attract into their business. And take me through some of the things you do to shift their relationship with value and money.
Allana Pratt: Yeah, well first off just to be totally transparent, I am actually kind of still in about a 10, 12 year court battle and I’ve been dragged through court and basically made wrong for my career. I don’t have PhD, but I’ve been coaching for 18 years and they made me out to be this crazy narcissist that talks about sex. And it was really disheartening, humiliating to my self-esteem. And what happened was I lost my softness, I lost my confidence. And I started pushing hard, which only pushed clients away, which made me even more scared and contracted.
Our energy, our life force energy is actually sexual energy. That’s the 99.9% of the field that we don’t see that quantum physics talks about. #WingsPodcast @AllanaPrattClick to tweet
And so, one of the things I’ve done for myself, and for my clients is to remember inside out. The internal always creates the external. How can I first love little Allana? Like really, even though I’m a cum laude graduate of Columbia University, and I’ve interviewed all these celebrities, there’s still a little Allana in there that needs to be held, acknowledged, validated, championed, and not fixed, and “You can do it girl! You can do it!”. Just “Hey it’s okay to cry. It’s okay just to have a crappy day. It’s okay just to get, well not every day, but get in the bath with a shot of tequila and just like chill.” It’s okay.
Melinda Wittstock: Right.
Allana Pratt: It’s okay to be human. And that allows something inside to exhale.
Second, our energy, our life force energy is actually sexual energy. That’s the 99.9% of the field that we don’t see that quantum physics talks about. Is it flowing through your body? Is your creative life force, sexual energy flowing through your body? Are you just sitting there at your desk with your shoulders clenched all day? Take a moment to dance, take a moment to go for a walk outside, put your feet into the earth. Take a moment to self-pleasure, masturbate in the middle of the day. Whatever it takes to get that energy flowing so you start to see that sacred … That sexual energy as sacred. That creative energy is sacred. When we’re full from the inside out, that’s when we’re actually a true contribution and people feel safe to be in our safe in our space, not pushed away, and they’re more magnetized towards us.
So as I begin to do the inner practices of compassion, self-care with my little you. And I remembered, “How can I get back in the flow? What brings me joy? What delights me about my business? Why do I love to serve like this?” That started to shift my confidence and make me close more clients with ease.
Melinda Wittstock: That’s wonderful. So, what is interesting about what you’re talking about there and sexual energy is right now in the midst of the “me too” movement, after Harvey Weinstein and after all the sexual harassment cases, say in Silicon Valley with women trying to raise money from VCs who, you know, in some cases have had or tried to have very inappropriate meetings kind of later in the evening, outside of the office, this sort of stuff. That’s a really confusing message for women. You contextualize what you’re talking about in that context ’cause I think a lot of women you know, go into this in a very defensive way. They want to be seen for their intelligence and their companies, and what their companies are doing and not just for their sexuality.
Allana Pratt: Exactly, I really love that we’re on the planet right now and I believe that there was a long line to get like, get a body on the planet now because of exactly what’s going on. On the one hand, we could say, “Oh poor us.” You know and blame men. But here’s the way I see it. We are a gifted group of women to bring back true feminine power. Which is not just our brain, it is our heart as well, and it is our sacred sexual energy. It is everything. And it is our job to first find ourselves sacred, our brain sacred, the wisdom of our heart sacred and our creative sexual beauty and energy that can, when we value it, awaken the nobility in a man. But if we play down or if we doubt our worth or if we, heaven forbid, shame ourself, then all that does is get mirrored in his behavior.
So, right now it’s an opportunity to shine and own our worth, not only in our brain and in our business, but in the wisdom of our heart and the sacredness of our sexuality. And I believe, over time, when enough of us all stand up as sisters, not competition with each other, but collaboration with each other, and saying, “You are so beautiful.” And let that be just as valuable as “You are so bright. And you are so kind. And you are so radiant.” All of the flavors of the feminine equally valuable. When we as sisters can do that for ourself and for each other, we will awake the nobility in men and things will shift.
Right now it’s an opportunity to shine and own our worth, not only in our brain and in our business, but in the wisdom of our heart and the sacredness of our sexuality. #WingsPodcast @AllanaPrattClick to tweet
And yeah, we’re in the trenches right now. And it’s time not to give up.
Melinda Wittstock: When I think of conscious leadership, or the ability to really show up in our true power, you know, as women or as men … I’ve always been fascinated by what Carl Jung wrote about you know and the archetypal feminine and archetypal masculine energies. And where you see people in a truly evolved state, often they have, whether they’re a woman or a man, they’re quite balanced in these archetypal strengths.
Allana Pratt: Well said.
Melinda Wittstock: You know whether it’s men in kind of strength and power and all the stuff that is required to go out and kill the wildebeest and bring it back. And the woman who have these very much more relationship focused and the empathy. Is that how you see it too really for women to be able to take the best of these archetypal energies, both masculine and feminine and show up in that?
Allana Pratt: Yes. I don’t know if this is appropriate but I don’t care. I’m going to mention the Wonder Woman movie. There is something about the way she showed up at the very end, where she was walking towards Ares and she wasn’t hitting him. And she wasn’t you know, defending, she was smiling. And it was her aura of fierce love that shifted the situation. That brought down the evil. So when we as women can be bold and soft, find our strength in our vulnerability and we are more balanced, I believe we awaken that within a man. Yes, we want him to go slay the dragon, of course, but when he’s doing it from the intention, the source of his heart, a heart-centered man, that’s really a balanced, noble bad ass, if we want to call it, in a man.
I think we can bring out the best in each other and women are often willing to go first. We have a huge amount of bravery. Our ability to give birth to children, we face a lot of incredible things that builds our strength. So lets not worry about tit for tat or what’s fair or who’s going first, lets just lead by example and awaken the best in men by being the best of ourselves.
Melinda Wittstock: A moment ago you mentioned this concept of shame. Where I think so many of us have been acculturated to somehow see something wrong with really showing up as powerful women. Integrated as you’re talking about, sort of mind, body, spirit and also what you called the … Did you call it the divine? Or, did you call it the divine sexual?
Allana Pratt: Yes, divine or sacred sexual, yes.
Melinda Wittstock: Okay, so showing up in this whole kind of, in this sense of sort of holistic power, what is the root of that shame and how do we recover from that?
Allana Pratt: I think whenever somebody’s scary, we, one of the ways we can control them is to shame them and make them wrong so that they doubt their power. And I think that’s really happened certainly in North America for me, growing up, my sexual energy was maybe too much, and so I was shamed for it. And you’re not allowed to have sex and don’t talk about that and don’t show your boobs, ex cetera. But then you go to the magazines and all of the women are splayed wide open with their boobs everywhere. So it’s a very confusing message.
And so back when I was 20, I was over in Japan, I was a model. And I got hired as a dancer at the Four Seasons Hotel, this beautiful place. And there was no tops to the costumes, Melinda Wittstock. And I went, “Oh my God.” But then I’m like, “Okay, nobody’s gonna see me.” But you know what? All the other women from Australia and France thought I was the weird one. They loved their bodies. They had no issues knowing they were a goddess. I was the one that was ashamed, thinking I was bad and dirty. And out on the stage Melinda Wittstock, on their side of the stage, all the men sat up like little boy scouts, like bowing, treating them like a goddess, where on my side of the stage, they were all looking at me like, “Hey, tall glass of water.”
And what I realized, within a very short period of time, it was my belief in my dirtiness. It was my shame and guilt that was literally creating a reaction in the men. So the very next night, out I went on the stage again and I, like the ancient practice, the Tibetan practice of Tonglen, when you breathe in the pain of the world and you exhale compassion and love? It’s a, you know, a very old practice. I breathed in their judgment of my body that was a piece of meat and I affirmed within my posture, within my heart and within my soul, “I am a goddess. Thank you for noticing.” And I exhaled it and I swear Melinda Wittstock, they all sat up in their chairs. And they started bowing. And I’m like, “Oh my god. I’m in charge of how people treat me, based on how I believe in myself.”
So I’ve done so much work, personally and then as I became a professional and a coach and all of this in this realm of intimacy. It’s important we have a healthy, intimate relationship with the divinity and sacredness of our body, of our sexuality, of our brain, of our wisdom, of our heart, of the whole thing. Because we will … It’s all a mirror. It’s all quantum physics, it’s all energy. We will be mirrored on the outside with this honor that we are treating ourselves like a work of art.
Melinda Wittstock: Beautifully said. So, when you think of women in business and entrepreneurs, over the last couple of generations … You know, remember in the 80’s, everybody thought they had to be a dude.
Allana Pratt: And wear shoulder pads.
Melinda Wittstock: The shoulder pads, and the little shirt with the little bow tie and you know …
Allana Pratt: Right, right.
Melinda Wittstock: And all of that and that was the only way to be taken seriously was to …
Allana Pratt: Wear a tie …
Melinda Wittstock: Deny your sexuality and in so doing, I mean, you end up showing up in-authentically because it’s not going to fool, men aren’t going to say, “Oh, hey, I’m talking to a dude right now.” I mean it’s obvious that you’re …
Allana Pratt: It’s pretty obvious, yeah.
Melinda Wittstock: But yeah. So you, but in denying it, I mean, it doesn’t work. So we’ve seen women evolve. I think there’s still this sense though, of trying to appear strong, even when you feel vulnerable. And with a lot of women afraid to show their vulnerability, the fear there is that men or other women would pile on and somehow that’s showing weakness. Tell me a little bit about how you help women be able to harness vulnerability from a position of strength.
Allana Pratt: Well two things. First, you don’t want to be vulnerable with everybody. You want to really use your intuition. Because I think on some level, “Uh-huh, uh-uh.” We know who’s going to eat us up for breakfast. And so we might not want to display that vulnerability to them.
However, I don’t know if you remember when I met you Melinda Wittstock, on the last day of the New Media Summit, and I shared to the group of 150 people, plus the 40 podcasters, that I was really triggered on the first day getting there, comparing myself to people for the last 10 years who had poured time, energy and money into their businesses and they were soaring, where for the last 10 years I dealt with my son, who wanted to kill himself because of all of the court battles. And I really felt less than. And ashamed that I was behind and just finally paying off the quarter of a million in legal debt.
And that was, I’ll call that the strength and vulnerability. It was owing … I wasn’t shaming myself as bad or wrong, I was sharing my journey. I was sharing my doubt and my wobbliness and I was sharing all the way through to the exercise that I gave everybody that I did myself, is I had closed my heart. I shamed myself. Nobody was doing it to me, it was my belief, it was my reaction to seeing everybody so successful. So I chose, after closing my heart, to open my heart.
And I encouraged others, if they were experiencing anything like I was, that it’s a choice. We can open our heart. And I cannot tell you Melinda Wittstock, how many people came up to me after and gave me a hug, said, “Thank you so much for sharing, I thought I was the only one.” It’s really brave to be vulnerable. And not to just show up like, “Poor me.” Get the violin out, “I’m a victim.” But to show our humanity. And those that are meant to be your client’s, those that are meant to be your colleagues, those that are willing to play on that level of authenticity and vulnerability, will champion you and will rise with you.
Melinda Wittstock: I thought it was a beautiful moment of such strength when you shared that. Because it takes a lot of bravery to stand up in a room of that many people and speak from the heart in the way that you did and it doesn’t surprise me because, you know it’s interesting. I learned this lesson over and over again, is when you really share something that your going through that’s uniquely, feels like uniquely, only your own problem or your own challenge, that there’s something really universal in that. It gives other people the permission to feel their feelings as well, but actually to connect to you. I thought it was a very powerful moment and I think, in that moment I thought, “Yeah. Allana’s gotta come on my podcast.”
Allana Pratt: Ah, thank you.
Melinda Wittstock: But it’s true. I mean I did. I thought it was very inspiring because it really, apart from anything else, so much of my mission is to be the change that I want to see in the world.
Allana Pratt: Exactly.
Melinda Wittstock: And so when you see somebody actually doing that it’s just like, “Oh, thank goodness, thank you.”
Allana Pratt: Your welcome. And thank you for acknowledging that. And it comes right back to that statement that I made earlier about little you. Like little Melinda Wittstock, little Allana. When I was going through the court system and they were making me wrong and I felt so humiliated and I went home and I cried for days, I didn’t shove it away, get on Facebook and pretend I was fine. I went towards little you. I sat with her and I said, “You have every right to be scared, sad, hopeless, devastated, humiliated. I get it. And I am willing to sit with you in this discomfort for eternity, if that’s how long it takes. I love you unconditionally. You don’t need to become triumphant and a bad ass in order for me to love you. I love you right now, as awful as you feel.”
To me, that is how we dissolve internal judgment of self. When we can love every aspect of ourselves. We’ve talked about loving our sacred sexuality, but also loving our fear. And that’s how we transform it. And that’s how we stop the judgment internally. And that’s how we show up and, while I might not want to be rejected, I don’t put my attention on the outside anymore. I’m not going to allow the fear of rejection to stop my sharing, my contribution, my business, my shining. And that I think is feminine. Femininity is about allowing. It’s about receiving. And not just receiving the good client and the lots of money but receiving the rejection. And receiving the disappointment. Receiving it all. Being so broad and wide and grand in our vulnerability that we can withstand anything. That, to me, is feminine power and that is inspirational to others. Not just women, but men. It’s inspirational to the world if we can keep our heart open in the face of anything.
Melinda Wittstock: You mentioned this court case, and I don’t want to make you relive it or dwell on it or spend too much of the interview on it, but I would imagine that our listeners right now will be as curious as I am. What actually happened?
Allana Pratt: Well, my son said he wanted to kill himself. And I had been divorced since my son was one. I realized that I made a mistake marrying my son’s father. My mom was dying and it wasn’t one of my better enlightened moves. I honestly just wanted someone with a cheque and a pulsebook, or and a checkbook and a pulse. Some sperm, that’ll do. I just wanted to replace the relationship I was losing. I just wanted to have a child.
And I know that’s not very enlightened or kind, and I’ve done my forgiveness work and asked for apology about that decision, but I divorced him in a year. And he wasn’t very happy about it. You know I gave him my word I would be there forever, until death do us part. And I left after a year, so he was upset. He was humiliated. And was on a venge … Revenge to get me back. And so we fought and we fought and we fought. And I did every non-violent you know communication course there was but I couldn’t … I went, “Oh, he doesn’t want to get along. He enjoys taking me down.” And that was a big wake up call because I’m little miss kum ba yah bunny rabbits, everybody’s love right?
Melinda Wittstock: So this was a divorce being fought in court?
Allana Pratt: This was a divorce 13, 14 years ago, that dragged into an over a decade custody battle. Because the only way I think he felt vengeance is if he could take our child away from me. So for … Yeah, I lost my house, my savings, a quarter of a million dollars. I mean, I even got my truck repossessed, I was so behind on bills. $25 grand by Monday. And being humiliated and all being so worried about my son wanting to kill himself.
He was in 5150 three times. That’s when the State takes your child in the back of a cop car and he’s not your property anymore. And they put him in like a prison. It’s very scary.
And so I was coming from a lot of shame and a lot of fear and a lot of panic and I was not in my power whatsoever. And I looked like I was always defending myself and they used that against me. And so, by the end, I was out of money and my son was still going into 5150 so I let him win. I gave him 70% custody, just please stop the fighting for our son. But even after I let him win, he still came after me.
So the lesson, as I’m looking inside, is like, “Okay, where can I shift? How can I change? What can I do differently with somebody who’s so angry at me?” And that’s still, to this very day, my practice. To keep my heart open, to show my son, I’m not going, I can forgive, I can apologize, but I’m not gonna chose vengeance. I’m going to chose forgiveness and moving on. And my son is 15 and he’s getting to see a very broad context, contrast, of how somebody deals with rejection. One does forgiveness, moves forward, keeps their heart open, one closes their heart, continues to go for revenge. And I believe as a soul, he chose this example for him to learn, make the choice and become the man he’s going to become.
But in the meantime, it’s not easy. There’s no nice little bow on the end of this story. I’m still in it.
Melinda Wittstock: But he’s seen you transform and change so many of your kind of beliefs or, we call sort of unconscious beliefs, limiting beliefs, all of that. And as you change them do you notice that your son is getting better, has a more evolved, sort of evolved relationship as a man soon, who’s going to go into the world and learning how to treat women for instance.
Allana Pratt: Exactly. It’s so true Melinda Wittstock. For a long time I wouldn’t … I would parent to about 80%, 85%, but then I wouldn’t go past it because then he’d tell his dad and his dad would twist it and put it in the next court document for the next police officer to knock on my door at 9:30 at night and serve me with papers and take me to court. It was like this never ending thing so I was so afraid to even parent with firm, loving boundaries, ’cause it would end up twisted, turned against me.
And so finally I just said enough. I do not care if I have to go back to court until your 18 years old, I will come from love. I will come from healthy boundaries. I will come from teaching you courtesy and respect and accountability and responsibility and I grew in my strength. And frankly, my son hated it. Because he was really actually quite successful at manipulating me up until then. I would give away my power left right and center. And I thought, “Oh my god. My son is becoming the worst qualities.” My ex-husband has wonderful qualities as well, but the worst qualities and that’s what he’s becoming.
I need to be different. I need to be willing to love him so much that it’s okay if he hates me. To love him so much that it’s okay if he rejects me. To love the most important person in my life to keep my heart open and do what love would do, even in the face of the unknown. Even in the face of my son rejecting me.
so right now, he’s decided to, you know, be with his dad. That I’m selfish and awful. And I know in my heart of hearts, I’m teaching him real, deep, noble values and virtues. And I do believe in time, it’ll come around. But I’m alone on a mountain, by choice. In a sanctuary. He’s living with his dad and I’m healing my heart, but also taking this time to really nourish my truth, my business and to show him that in the face of this, I keep loving. I keep showing up. I keep shining. I keep forgiving. I keep moving forward.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, that’s beautifully said. You know it’s funny how often we end up realizing in our lives, or manifesting in our lives, exactly the things that we don’t want. So you have to be so careful about the things that you think. You know, that anybody thinks. Whether consciously or unconsciously, because you kind of get what your thinking about. So becoming more conscious about these kind of inner beliefs or drivers and kind of healing all this is, I think, the key to success right? In life, but also in business.
Allana Pratt: Well, I agree, and it brings us back to the conversation of intimacy, “In to me I see.” I was afraid of my dad, who was drunk and stoned, and I never spoke up and I hid. And I never communicated my truth and lived … And so all my ex-husband is is my dad. So even though I might consciously be a little miss positive and focus on the good, when you went “In to me I see.” And found the little Allana in there, still afraid of men, still afraid of being herself around men, all I did was attract a lesson so that I could finally heal and grow. So I don’t see any of the lessons that we have is that we’re bad or we made a mistake, I feel everything that’s coming towards us is for us, not against us, so that we can heal subconscious patterns and beliefs in the past so that we can come into presence and choice and groundedness in the moment to thrive as women, as lovers and as businesswomen.
Melinda Wittstock: When we talk about business and some of the big mistakes, say, that we make in business, and we all do. You know, being an entrepreneur and in my case a serial entrepreneur, some business get into flow very easily and they just fly, other ones are really tough, like pushing a boulder up a mountain.
Allana Pratt: Yes.
Melinda Wittstock: Every day is a roller coaster, where your up and elated and devastated sometimes 14 times within the same hour right? So …This is what it’s like to go out and innovate and do different things in the world, to really entra-pioneer and it requires such an inner strength if you will.
Allana Pratt: Yes.
Melinda Wittstock: Like all that you are talking about and a radical acceptance and … Where do women fall into traps here? I mean, do we sometimes take … When things go wrong in our businesses, do we sometimes fall into the trap of taking it personally? Like making it about ourselves? Whereas guys are more likely just to kind of shake it off like a dog would shake off a, you know when a dog sort of like shakes, right?
Allana Pratt: Yes.
Melinda Wittstock: And I see guys being able to be a little more resilient that way. Not in all cases, but women I notice are just more likely to take things a little bit personally. And of course this is a scale, it doesn’t apply to everyone, it’s a generalization, but in your experience, with all the folks and all the women that you coach, to what extent is that true or consistent and what are some of the other ways also that we get in our own way?
Allana Pratt: One of the practices in intimacy, “In to me I see.” Is are we seeking our worth from the outside in or inside out? And I think culturally this is sort of a blanket statement, but I think culturally from the, you know, “Be a good little girl.” You know or, “You’re looking pretty.” There’s so much external approval and appreciation that we seek from a very young age that by the time we become an entrepreneur, if something doesn’t go our way, we instantly blame ourselves, like, “I’m wrong. I’m bad.” And we do take it very personally. Which again, goes back to that exercise of little you, really loving ourselves for the journey. Loving the bravery that we fell down but we got back up.
You know being tender and compassionate and patient with ourselves. Celebrating the process, like a caterpillar going all the way to a butterfly. Like, are we going to be mad and disappointed with the caterpillar every minute of it’s entire existence until the one moment it finally becomes a butterfly and then we’ll praise it and be happy? No. We get down to the cocoon and we whisper inside, “Hey, I know it’s dark, I know you feel like goo. I know you have no idea what’s going on but keep going, your doing great.”
Like, if we can learn to talk to ourselves like a little caterpillar, and not just wait till the end to value ourselves, then when things don’t go according to plan on the outside we have a very strong resolve, a very deep connection to self, that can weather so many storms and really enjoy the process. Have a little humor around how messed up that went. And as you said, bring out our own masculine quality whatever, or dog quality and shake that off. But not as a fake shaking it off.
I coach men as well as women and I cannot tell you Melinda Wittstock, on the outside, “Sure, I’m a guy, I don’t cry, I just shake it off.” There are so many emasculated hearts of men. Oh my god.
Melinda Wittstock: That’s so true.
Allana Pratt: We women don’t think it happens. But they are just as wounded as we are. They just don’t show it.
Melinda Wittstock: They don’t. Yes, no that’s absolutely true, they don’t. And they think they can’t, which leads to such a profound sense, I think of isolation for men.
Allana Pratt: Yes.
Melinda Wittstock: And they suffer too from not having the emotional connection that it’s easier for women to have. I think that’s very true aspect of our society, where both sides of this, you know are suffering, in many cases.
Allana Pratt: Yeah, one of my most seen videos on YouTube was, it’s a kind of a sexy title like, “Three Things Women Wish Men Did in Bed.” But one of them is about vulnerability. It’s not like, you know, sexual techniques. It’s about the capacity to be real and vulnerable and just show each other your worries. Show each other where you’re feeling insecure and not to judge, not to fix, just to be present with each other. And that is not possible if we can’t do that with ourselves. So, as businesswomen, if we can just be present and not judge our wobbly self or our triumphant self and just be wide with all the experiences then it gives us this perseverance, this resilience, this resolve, that we’re doing our business, yes of course we want the money and the success, ex cetera. Like that’s awesome. But lets remember, I believe anyways, I’m doing my business as a spiritual practice.
I get to do this. I could go get a job at Starbucks tomorrow, but I chose to be an entrepreneur. I chose to have it be my spiritual practice. To open my heart, to give, to shine, because I get to! And of course I’d like to serve millions, but if all I serve is one, and that one person’s life is different, I did my job. I did my job. And that allows us to really savor each day, be kind to ourselves each day, and go the distance to be a serial entrepreneur and to, yeah, to love ourselves in the process. And become these really beautiful women that are leaders and inspirations to others. Not necessarily by our accomplishments and achievements, although those are awesome, but really by who we’re being and how we help others.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, who we’re being, how we’re helping and also just taking delight and pleasure in the journey rather than in the destination and understanding that failing is actually a really big part of the learning. All those challenges, is a, it’s really … Sometimes we can’t control things that happen to us, but we can control how we react …
Allana Pratt: Respond, yeah.
Melinda Wittstock: And what we do with that and really take our power, rather than allowing ourselves to be victims. What a wonderful conversation.
Allana Pratt: Thank you, yes. I think I’m … I make a lot of my colleagues nervous I think of how vulnerable I really am, but my goal is that all of us stop judging, shaming and rejecting ourselves. So we have this really solid relationship on the inside. Here I am, warts and all, the good, the bad and the ugly, “Hey, want to play?” And so I can give other people freedom to be who they are. Of course we want to be chosen as we date, of course we want the clients to sign up with us, but the fact that we even showed up on the date. The fact that we even showed up on the prospect call. The fact that we even wrote a blog. The fact that we’re even doing this podcast. I say, we can already celebrate the process of showing up.
And that kind of freedom, if everybody could grant themselves that freedom, there’d be some much more creativity and contribution in this world.
Melinda Wittstock: Amen. So Allana, you have a very special offer for our listeners today and I’m really excited about this. It’s a, you’re giving them a tremendous gift, can you tell us a little bit more about Vulnerability is the new Sexy, it’s a seven part complimentary training for our listeners, tell us a little bit more about that and how women can sign up.
Allana Pratt: Yes. I believe my business got really successful when I blended credibility and vulnerability. As did my dating life, so when you go to my website, Allanapratt.com, right there is Vulnerability is the new Sexy. As you said, a seven part training. So you can start to see the value, the strength, the gift, in blending your credibility with vulnerability. And my intention is that it will bring down any barriers to a flow of money, ideal clients, love, magic miracles that are just on the precipice, if you just open your heart a little bit more and find that strength to do so with that really deep intimate relationship with yourself on the inside.
Melinda Wittstock: So inspiring. Allana, thank you so much for putting on your super shero wings today. And flying with me.
Allana Pratt: My pleasure, your extraordinary. Thank you for all that you do. These are great conversations of inspiration.
Melinda Wittstock: Well thank you.