Rosie Aiello staged an international escape after 25 years of domestic abuse – and reinvented herself as an award-winning entrepreneur and best-selling author. She puts on the Advice WINGS to share her mission to “end family terrorism”, and how to own and speak your truth and be heard, and maintain your boundaries for success in business and in life.
Melinda Wittstock: Welcome to WINGS Rosie.
Rosie Aiello: Thank you. I am so thrilled to be with you.
Melinda Wittstock: I know. I'm excited to be with you too, and I always love to start with what's inspiring you right now.
Rosie Aiello: I am inspired by really helping women, especially women who have been in an abusive situation, whether it was parental, or spousal, or just boyfriend/girlfriend kind of thing. I'm really inspired to really help these women reclaim their voice, their worth, and their confidence so they can really show up fully and create a joyful and prosperous life that they deserve and… I'm going to go out here, and I'm just going to say “I'm on a mission to end, what I'm calling, family terrorism.”
Melinda Wittstock: Family terrorism. How interesting, because when you see the #MeToo movement –
Rosie Aiello: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Melinda Wittstock: – and just how many of us have had these experiences, whether it's sexual harassment, abuse, or worse, or just being in a situation where we've been with somebody that's talked us down.
Rosie Aiello: Yeah.
Melinda Wittstock: It's so prevalent.
Rosie Aiello: It's really sad and really it's disgusting. You know, let's call it what it is, that we have been put in this kind of position. Things are now ready to change, you know. I'm glad we're stepping up, and it takes this, kind of, a movement, you know, a big movement of women really saying “no more.” Yeah that was the status quo, that was the boys club; that was oh yeah… It was like we started to normalize bad behavior, but the women never accepted it, never wanted it and-
Melinda Wittstock: You know, sorry, go ahead.
Rosie Aiello: I was just going to say, nobody wins when someone is mistreated.
Melinda Wittstock: You're right, no one wins, and when you think of female entrepreneurs, the sort of confidence we need to muster, and the resilience that we need to muster… If there's anybody that has to, kind of, show up and really know their value and have their voice, its female entrepreneurs.
So what is your biggest frustration at this point?
Rosie Aiello: My biggest frustration…. There's two points of view here, one is just getting in front of the right potential clients, but as the entrepreneur it's like, finding, really getting my own voice and being enough. Right? All this challenge of “Am I good enough, am I being enough?” I used to work in corporate, so I know, it's like we had to work ten times as hard just to get half of the rate of salary.
Melinda Wittstock: Yes.
Rosie Aiello: That still carries on in the entrepreneur world, we have this overall… this cloud hanging over ourselves that our voice doesn't matter as much. We have to say it louder. We have to say it differently; it's hard to be ourselves. I used to have, when I first got in here, I was like following mostly male mentors, because I didn't really know very many female mentors, and trying to be like them and going “this is not working.”
Melinda Wittstock: That's so interesting that you say that, because in the early days there weren't a lot of female mentors, so what choice did you have if you were an entrepreneur, or trying to climb up the corporate ladder, be a leader of any kind? I mean, the leaders to look up to were all men. So getting into our authentic power is always a big challenge, so thank you for the work you're doing.
Know what you believe in and don’t bow down to what other people are saying, or what other people are saying about you. #WingsPodcast #WomeninBusiness @RosieClearVistaClick to tweet
I wanted to ask you, based on your experience, what are your top three pieces of advice for women in business and women entrepreneurs?
Rosie Aiello: This ties into what we were just saying, and the first thing I would say is own and really speak your truth. Meaning, really own your truth, know what you believe in and don't bow down to what other people are saying, or what other people are saying about you. Really own that, and own it proudly. I'm not saying that's easy to do, in fact, it's not, but this is really key.
Another thing I found that women have so much challenge about is asking for what they want. Because, first of all, many of them are just like “You mean I can ask?” So the concept of asking for what they want is already hard enough, and then they don't even know how to articulate what they want. So first you have to know how to articulate what they want, and then be able to ask for what they want. You know, it's different stages because people don't read minds, but we've been programed to keep giving, and not having our own needs met. I'm talking about business, not just personal, this asking for what you want spreads everywhere in your life, and it's so important.
Melinda Wittstock: It really is. And what is your third piece of advice?
Rosie Aiello: My third piece of advice is: learn how to establish and maintain your boundaries: Boundaries are nothing more than telling people how you want to be treated.
Melinda Wittstock: That's such profound advice. Often we don't know where we are… sorry, let me just pick up there, long day.
Learn how to establish and maintain your boundaries: Boundaries are nothing more than telling people how you want to be treated. #WingsPodcast #WomeninBusiness @RosieClearVistaClick to tweet
Boundaries, oh my goodness, Rosie, this is such an important issue, because I think a lot of women lose themselves. It's almost like we walk around with drinks trays bounced, and we end up, there's nothing left for us at the end. This mix of owning your truth, asking for what you want, and managing your boundaries is wonderful advice.
Melinda Wittstock: Hey, so Rosie, how can women who want to work with you find you?
Rosie Aiello: What I would love to do is offer them a gift. They can go to 11hourstofreedom.com/gift, and it's the number 11, 11hours… plural… tofreedom.com/gift. They will receive a download; they will receive a little booklet called “Ask Confidently for What You Want.” It's powerful, it gives you the steps, and I've had so many women use it, they were afraid to just ask their husband just for a date night, or talk to their colleague, and then they followed the steps and it's like “Wow, it was easy, I didn't know I could get such results.”
Melinda Wittstock: Mm-hmm (affirmative) That's wonderful, that's great, so 11hourstofreedom.com/gift and the download “Ask Confidently for What You Want.” Rosie, thank you so much for flying with us on WINGS.
Rosie Aiello: I love it, thank you.