Women Innovating Networking Growing Scaling – that’s WINGS … I’m Melinda Wittstock, my mission is to help women take flight, so on this special advice minisode of Wings of Inspired Business … we talk about the people closest to you, your circle of influence, because this network will make or break you – in life and in business. We all need mentors and coaches to stretch and grow, people around us who genuinely have our backs, genuinely want us to fly high, and at the same time will call us on our BS … with love.
Here with us today to provide her insights and inspiration is …
Amy Stefanik is the creator of “The Entrepreneurs Wife” – and her mission is to strengthen and encourage the entrepreneurial family.
Together with her entrepreneur husband Matt Stefanik, Amy has been up and down – and along what was … at one time … a very rocky path, she discovered – and now lives and teaches – the concept of “one shared vision” where everyone in the family is bought into the journey.
Amy Stefanik is here in just a moment…and first Amy and I are collaborating on something very special and unique we want to share with you…
And now to the inspiring Amy Stefanik, author of the bestselling The Entrepreneur’s Wife – along with her courses and masterminds helping women deal with the risk, the uncertainty, all the ups and downs of entrepreneurship. To be sure, entrepreneurship is not for everyone, and it can be terrifying and frustrating alike for a non-entrepreneurial spouse – because so many entrepreneurs learn to keep all the most heart palpitating moments … to themselves … sharing only with mentors or perhaps a co-founder.
Amy lived this life firsthand, not really knowing much about what her husband Matt was doing, only that he was succeeding … so, that was OK. Then 2008 came and their real estate business crashed. It was a rough landing, but it was also an opportunity to rebuild their personal lives in a new way.
Long story short, it was the impetus that launched Amy on her own entrepreneurial journey – first through The Entrepreneur’s Wife and now additionally with an innovative supplements company Visentials, and now collaborating with me on Wings of the Empowered Woman retreats.
Melinda Wittstock: Amy, welcome to Wings.
Amy Stefanik: Hi, how are you?
Melinda Wittstock: I am doing great, and I'm so happy and excited to be talking to you. I wanted to start with what's inspiring you most right now?
Amy Stefanik: I get a lot of my inspiration from reading, 'cause I read a lot of books. I say read, but I actually listen to audible books, it helps me … I do exercising, if I'm in the car, I can get through a lot of material just through audible, so that's my choice. So I get a lot of inspiration through reading, and I recently just finished a book by Marshawn Daniels, and the book's called Believe Bigger, and I loved it so much. I got so many nuggets and I was so inspired by it, and really it's about believing bigger, in a very spiritual way, like connecting to where you are as a woman, and so that is kind of my inspiration right now is pulling from that space of womanhood and knowing your mission, knowing your path and staying in the flow and being intuitive and trusting your gut when it comes to staying in that flow.
Melinda Wittstock: Beautifully said. I think it's so important when we have this downtime, I'm also a big audible and podcast fan, obviously I would be, but just in those moments where we're driving or we're working out or we're doing something to always be learning. I've now added that book to my list.
Amy Stefanik: Yeah, it's really good.
Melinda Wittstock: I have to pick it up. Believe Bigger. That sounds awesome. And so you talked a little bit about being intuitive, and being in flow. What are some of the challenges that come up for you in being able to make that transition into abundant, effortless flow state type living?
Amy Stefanik: I have a saying, “Garbage in, garbage out”, right? I tell my kids, I tell people, it's what you bring in is what's going to come out. And so how I try to stay in flow is I'm really careful what I absorb. I'm careful about what I watch on TV, even though I don't watch much TV, but I'm careful about what I'm putting in my body when it comes to what I'm listening to, what I'm watching, who's around me. And I try to pay really close attention to how my energy feels. Even when I'm scrolling Facebook, if I start to feel icky, then I'll just walk away, I'll shut it down and I walk away. So I'm really guarded when it comes to staying … listening to my feelings and my energy, and knowing how to protect that. Being okay with saying you know what? I'm not good here, I'm going to go ahead and tap out and I'm going to leave or I'm going to turn this off because this is making me feel a certain way.
Amy Stefanik: I think that helps me stay in flow because it helps me stay creative. If I can be protective of what I'm listening to, what I'm watching, who's around me, then it helps me stay in a creative state.
Melinda Wittstock: It's so interesting that you say that, because if I look back to every mistake that I've ever made in my life, it's been when I have not paid attention to a gut feeling, like I've allowed my left brain to override it. Oh come on, you know, right? About people, about places, about things. And so actually learning to trust ourselves is a big deal.
Amy Stefanik: It is, and I'm the same way. I can look back in hindsight and say, “I should have listened. I saw the signs.” I wanted it, my ego wanted it more and the question that I ask myself when I am trying to make a decision is, “Am I doing this for Amy? Or am I doing this for the right reasons?” ‘Cause I believe that when you're in flow and you're in a place and you're in creativity, it's because there's been a seed that's been planted, and it's your mission, right? It's your divine assignment, and am I about to make this move because it's part of my divine assignment or am I making this move because it makes Amy's ego feel good? And if I can keep myself in check that way and I'm not always awesome at it, but if I can keep myself in check, then sometimes I have to say no to stuff that I really want to do. Or I have to say no to a project that could possibly make good money.
But I know if I trust it, it will be for a good reason, so down the road, I'm not going to be having to clean up a mess that shouldn't have happened.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, that's really good advice and actually, what a perfect segue into the advice part of the minisode. Really, your top three go to pieces of advice, both as an entrepreneur in your own right, but as the entrepreneur's wife. Of course, a term that you have trademarked. I love, by the way, and so with both hats on in a way, what are your top three go to pieces of advice?
Amy Stefanik: The top three things that I would give advice on, your circle of influence can make or break you. People don't … you hear you know, the five people that you hang out with, you hear all those clichés, sayings, but it's so important to make sure that you are plugged into the right circle of influence. When I say right circle, I mean people that make you want to strive for more. It's not people that may be doing the exact same thing that you're doing or are exactly like you, you want people that are going to stretch you and make you grow. But people, that when you walk away from them, you feel filled up and not empty. And you feel good about where you're at, and you're not analyzing everything that happened because you're worried or you feel like maybe something was said, or you walk away and you're like, “Hey, what did they mean by that?” You want to be careful and guarded and make sure that you're tapped into a circle that pulls you up.
Also, don't get caught up in the end game. I think that we focus so much on the success in the future, that we start floating through our life, and there's power in moments and if we're constantly focusing on what's going to happen at the end of the race, and yes, we do daily activities to get us there, but there's moments that happen that we miss if we're not present. So is we're always focusing on then we lose precious moments that are our daily successes. I think success happens daily.
Melinda Wittstock: It does, and it's important to note that. You know, I think all too often, our brains focus on what's going wrong or where there's lack or where there's a problem rather than acknowledging those victories along the way, and really allowing ourselves to feel them and feel gratitude. What's your third piece of advice?
Amy Stefanik: My third piece is personal growth is more important than anything. A lot of people think that growing the business and getting the courses, the books, the magazines, the Ted Talks, going to events, those are the most important thing when it comes to your business and being an entrepreneur, but I think personal growth is more important than anything. I just wrote about today that if you're not working towards the higher state of consciousness, the mindset that's needed to survive the entrepreneurial journey, then when the inevitable dips happen, you're not going to be able to pull yourself out of those dips. So I think it's so important to invest in personal growth, whether that be books, you can go to events, you can learn to meditate. It's about growing that muscle, so that there's strength there when the falls happen on the journey.
Melinda Wittstock: That is profound, I could not agree with you more, and my regular listeners hear me say this all the time, you want therapy? Become an entrepreneur.
Amy Stefanik: That's right.
Melinda Wittstock: But it's really true, it does actually force you to grow, and also I mean you really, you get to a point where you can't grow a business, I believe, without growing personally. So thank you so much for saying that. So Amy, how can people find you and work with you?
Amy Stefanik: They can find me a couple of different ways, my website is TheEntrepreneursWife.com, you can find me there, also TEW.com, there you can find all of the avenues on social media to connect with me, you also will see where my book is, The Untold Story of the Entrepreneur's Wife, and my groups and different places where we can connect more personally.
Melinda Wittstock: Wonderful, well thank you for putting on your wings and flying with us.
Amy Stefanik: Thank you for having me.