Christy Whitman is a transformational leader, celebrity coach and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All. CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Learning Academy and Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 12-month Law of Attraction coaching certification program, she’s helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals in business and life, and shares how to leverage inner growth for quantum success and happiness.
Melinda Wittstock: Welcome to Wings, Christy.
Christy Whitman: Thank you so much for having me, Melinda. I'm happy to be here.
Melinda Wittstock: I am so excited to have you too and I can hardly wait to get my hands on your new book, Quantum Success, The Seven Essential Laws for a Thriving, Joyful and Prosperous Relationship with Work and Money. That sounds so good. We all need that.
Christy Whitman: Yes.
Melinda Wittstock: Tell me a little bit about what inspired the book.
Christy Whitman: Well, you know, most of my books, or I should say, all of my books, I don't go to just write a book. I've had two books that have hit The New York Times, and I've had my literary agent coming to me going, “Okay, where's your next book?” I don't write a book. I have books download through me. So, I literally was on a cruise ship with my family, 3:00 in the morning I wake up and I'm hearing the voice and I'm like, uh-oh, I know this voice all too well. I got up out of the bed, went into the very small bathroom on a cruise ship, even though we had a really nice family suite and everything. I sat on the ground on the hard linoleum floor, and I wrote for about three hours while the rest of my family was sleeping. So, everything just downloaded because, you know, 20 years ago I was seeking. I was really hungry to learn how …
I created everything I wanted, but I felt empty inside. You know, kind of like they, whoever they is, they tell you that if you have money, if you have a career, success, you have a relationship, you have your body, you know, that's having it all, and I had all that and I was so deeply empty inside. And, so, I went searching, and when I went searching this is what I started to find is that there are actually universal laws that exist for every single person. It doesn't matter if we're wanting to create better career success, if you're wanting to better or even create a relationship, you want to attract more money, there are universal laws that exist for men and women, everybody. When I started to not only learn about them, but apply them, my life completely transformed.
I mean, my life and who I am now is completely unrecognizable, and sometimes I'm around my family who have not necessarily done this work or know this information, and it's those moments of contrast where I'm like, wow. I am so completely different and I think in such different ways and can completely get along with them and have a great time with them, but it's interesting to see the filter through which I live now because I understand these universal laws. And so this book came through and it was like, yes. More and more people need to know how to take these seven essential laws and put it specifically towards their career and money because money is the biggest thing that most people have frustrations about. Even if they have money, they're afraid they're going to lose money. Whenever we have money it's always like we want to create more money, you know. It's a big thing.
Money is an issue and it's a thing that as a human being we all have to have a relationship with; we all do have a relationship with. And so why not make it a healthy, joyful, prosperous, fulfilling relationship and be able to have whatever you do in your career, in your business, be something that truly fulfills you, that feeds your soul? This book is for everybody to be able to get into that place that you feel like what you're doing in your career, you're on purpose, you have passion for and then you make a lot of money doing it.
Melinda Wittstock: This is so important. I mean, this idea of relationship with money. Of course, I've got so many questions I want to ask you, but I want to start there because there's two kind of polarities of it. There are the entrepreneurs who get there and have loads of money, but are deeply unhappy, I mean, even depressed because you get to this destination and you think, oh, I was going to be happy when I got here.
Christy Whitman: Right.
Melinda Wittstock: And had all this money, but it can feel empty.
Christy Whitman: Yeah.
Melinda Wittstock: On the other hand, there are people who have so many limiting beliefs about money that they just can't make the money. Like, no matter what they do, like money, either it just falls through their fingers or they just can't attract it or whatever, so what are the forces going on there on both sides, I guess, of that equation? Break them down if you will, but they're both problems most people have.
Christy Whitman: Yes, and they're two different things, but of the same issue, so let me explain to you. You know, a lot of times we were pretty much raised, and this is huge in our society, that, and I know as little girls we were like this too, if you want to be happy, you have to go get the man, get the money, have your own career, have the body, have the car, have the facelift, whatever it is, right. It's like, in order to feel a certain way you have to go get something, have your dream home, have the dream car, then you're going to be happy. It's the biggest lie. It's the biggest lie because I remember that.
When I first hit The New York Times, I'd been dreaming of that for years. I've been an author for about 17 years now, and that was like my first big huge goal is to become a New York Times best-selling author. I would feel my way into it. I would imagine myself to be what that would mean, and I remember the day it happened. For a split second I was like, yes! Like, I hit that goal and then I went into one of the biggest depressions of my life because I thought that when I finally got that, then I would forevermore be happy. I would be satisfied. I would be fulfilled, and it's the biggest lie because the things outside of us we think, we assign our emotions.
We assign our happiness to those things and once we get them, so say we meet the guy, we got this honeymoon period, right and then all of the sudden it's like, well, he's not fulfilling me anymore or I get this big deal at work and in my career and then, now I'm still not happy. It's like, it's fleeting, right? It's conditional. It's conditional to how we feel, and it's a really different approach. It's an inside-out approach that when you feel successful, when you really take the time to connect with the feeling of being fulfilled or prosperous or whatever it is that anybody wants, we all want something because we think that we're going to feel better in having it or that we're going to feel something in having it, and we're doing it the opposite. So, it's not an outside-in approach. If I get this, then I'll be happy. It's be happy and then I'll get this. So, the real work is both inner and outer. The work is what do you need to do to make yourself feel happy?
Melinda Wittstock: And once you're happy everything else comes. I think this is so, so important, that it's not a destination, it's like the happiness has to come from within like on that path, on that mission, right. I think, hearing you talk, I'm thinking a lot and have been for the past few days, really, about Kate Spade and that horrendous tragedy.
Christy Whitman: Yes.
Melinda Wittstock: To think, looking … She was one of my, you know, supersheroes in entrepreneurship because there weren't very many female role models in entrepreneurship when I was coming up and so she was one of mine. From the outside looking in, you know, she had everything, okay. Her business had just been bought for like, I don't know, $2.4 billion. She was creating a new business, fame, like everything. It all looks wonderful, right. Beautiful women. Everything. Yay. Great.
Christy Whitman: Family. Husband. Child. You know, the whole thing, right. She had it all.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, and so then you think, well, wow. That doesn't necessarily mean happiness. I don't know what she was going through. None of us do. But that's the thing is we never know with other people.
Christy Whitman: Right.
Melinda Wittstock: On this entrepreneurial journey, especially, there are going to be these times when, like you say, you become a New York Times Best Seller, but you're depressed or like you sell your company and you're depressed or you hit the million dollar mark, whatever, you have some amazing launch. You do all the things that you're supposed to do and it's like, yeah, you're depressed with success, right?
Christy Whitman: Yes. Right.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, right? I mean, it's kind of tricky. You can be depressed with lack of success, too, but it's like it's a different thing. So tell me a little bit about that. Do entrepreneurs, do we concentrate enough on our own mental and emotional health and do we need to reach out more, be more vulnerable, be more transparent about that journey?
Christy Whitman: What I really believe it to be is that as an entrepreneur, we're creative, and as a creative person, we have the divine. We have the creator that gives us the ideas. We as a human being can't receive an idea any other place from the universe, than from the divine, whatever you want to call that, right. When we receive that it's either we go, yes, I want to do that and we start moving in the direction and that idea, right, it gives us life force. We can feel the energy pulsating through us. It just has us feeling alive and we want to move towards something, and it's the energy that's flowing through us. It's that creativity, and there's another part of us that goes, well, I can't do that. That's too much. I don't know. You know, I don't have the personality. Who am I to blah, blah, blah? And so it's that siphoning off of that life force energy. I don't care who we are, all of us want to have that feeling of being fully alive and fully feeling that creative part of us flowing through our veins, and when we're moving towards a goal, and you know, I can speak for myself, when I have like a vision, when I have a goal, when I have something coming up, I feel more alive because it's like I get to be creative. I get to decide.
You know, I've got a new book coming our, right. It's like, ooh, it's a blank canvas. It's like, what do I want to do? How do I want to launch this? What are the strategies to get my book out into the right hands and that sort of thing. Then there's a feeling of just expansion because of it and what happens a lot of times is when we get to that place it's like, okay, it's already been created and so that creative part of us that we love, that feeling like our hands in the clay, you know. We love doing what we love to do whether it's writing a book or speaking onstage or creating a product or designing a new purse or whatever it is in our own careers. It's that creative process that we love. As long as we can stay in that creation, and even when we have created something like a company, right, and it's like, okay, well, I've created this company. It's doing its own thing. How can we still allow that creative energy to flow into what we love doing, because that's ultimately what it is. It's not the final thing. It's not the billions of dollars in the bank account, clearly, because then Kate Spade would be a beacon of light for everybody that this is all you have to do and then you'd be happy.
Life is not like graduating from college, right. You get that diploma and now forevermore I have a degree from Arizona State University, right. It's constant. It's like our bodies, right. Every single day we have to either work out and feed it the proper nutrients to keep it in perfect health and it's the same way for our own inner happiness, the energy that we have. You know, is it okay if I get into like energy for a little bit and explain that part of it?
Melinda Wittstock: Oh yes. Please.
Christy Whitman: Okay. Perfect. Here's what's supposed to happen. We're co-creative partners with this non-physical divine, right, and we are the physical. Most of us see ourselves as what we can see, taste, touch, hear and smell, right. It's like, this is my physical reality. I can see this. I can hold it. I can touch it. That's what life is, but there's so much more. We, and I talk about this in Quantum Success, the person that you know yourself to be with all of, whatever age you are to this day, whatever training that you've had, whatever education, whatever triumphs and so-called failures or missteps, all the training that we got in the upbringing and the imprints and all that stuff that we got from our own families and, you know, just our own career journeys has led us to this moment and all of that is only 4% of who we really are. I mean, that blows my mind away.
Melinda Wittstock: Four percent.
Christy Whitman: Four percent. Think of all the life that you've lived.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah.
Christy Whitman: All the life that you've lived, all the thoughts that you've had or the beliefs that you hold, all of that. It's only 4% of who we are, and we can tap into the stream of creativity, the stream of abundance, the stream of prosperity, the stream of success and that is like our co creative partner, but we, as a physical unit, we get this idea, we get this feeling of creativity inside of us, we then have to do something about it. We have to send the email. We have to make the phone call. We have to get on the stage. We have to start sewing the thing. Whatever it is, we have to be that co creative part. As a human being, we are interpreting things all day every day and what's supposed to happen, it's kind of like the ocean. You know, the waves come in, the waves go out.
We see something whether it's a tree and it's like, oh, it's beautiful. We breathe it in, we breathe it out, right. We see a man talking to a woman in a bad way or maybe an abusive way and that can then imprint us or maybe we have been talked to in that way or we've had something, maybe someone betrayed us or something in business happened. That imprints in us as an energy block because energy is moving all day every day. It's moving in and out and through and up. Energy never stops. It doesn't die. It continues, right. So, what happens when something happens, when you get some kind of news, maybe your business isn't doing as well or you're not making the profits or someone betrays you or someone says something, whatever it is. That imprints in us as stuck energy. It's almost like if you imagine an animal, like a caged animal being stuck, right, in this cage, like a lion is in this small cage. It just spirals and spirals and spirals. It just wants out. That energy is stuck behind that imprint, behind that block like a caged animal. Once we release the imprint, once we release the block, the energy flows out. While it's in there, while it's stuck in there, that spiral is creating a vortex of energy and that vortex of energy creates the thoughts. It creates the beliefs and ultimately creates the reality that we live into.
Melinda Wittstock: Yes. Oh my goodness. It's so interesting how neuroscience and neuroplasticity, kind of quantum field theory, all these things, right, are showing us that we're really projecting or creating our own experience.
Christy Whitman: Yes.
Melinda Wittstock: As we go, and what's so interesting is that how all these things that are woo-woo or used to be woo-woo, even a few months ago, now actually have been proven by science as well. I love that these things are converging together.
Christy Whitman: Yes.
Melinda Wittstock: It's something that you can choose, but it's a real discipline, and I think once the penny drops, once you kind of get this somehow, there's usually some sort of experience or something where you're like, oh.
Christy Whitman: Yeah.
Melinda Wittstock: I get it. It's amazing because from there you realize just how anything is possible, anything at all.
Christy Whitman: You realize how powerful you are because what your initial question was, someone that is struggling with money, for example, money does not have an opinion. Money doesn't go, you know what? I like Melinda. I'm going to go ahead and spend all my time with her. I don't like Christy. I'm not going to give any of myself. Money doesn't have a predisposition to whoever we are. Money just doesn't do that. Money is energy. It's green energy.
Money is either attracted to us or repelled by us not because it has its own mind and can say, oh, I'm going to go here or I want to go there. It's because of us, and that is where it gets exciting because if you go, huh, you're right. It's not like a man and a woman in a business relationship. Both people have their own imprints. They come in with their own baggage. They come in with their own opinions and perspectives and beliefs. You kind of have to have energy go between the two people and find a way to relate between those two people. Money is easy. Money doesn't have any of those things.
So, if we are the ones that actually create money and we're the ones that either attract or repel money from us, what's exciting is that you get to be in the place where you're responsible. You're not a victim because you're not creating money the way you want to or have the amount of money or even if you have money you're still feeling anxious because you're going to lose it, whatever. That all starts and ends with us, and when you shift that relationship with money inside of yourself, oh my God, then there's nothing you can't do. The biggest thing I want everybody to take away is that you are not a victim to any circumstance in your life. It doesn't matter if your parents used to struggle or, you know, what your background was. When you can shift your own relationship with money inside of yourself, you will see your money situation change outside in your reality, in your bank account, what you attract in, sales that you bring in, all of it. All of it is energy first.
Melinda Wittstock: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yes. Gosh. This is so true. One of the things that I realized with money is I had to pick so much of this apart in my own life. You know, when you start to get sort of investigative about what it is when you're trying to figure out your own relationship with money and, you know, you go back into your childhood, for instance, and some of the things that we learn or we take on from our parents, these beliefs about money, do we all have to go back and really understand those things to be able to let go of them?
Christy Whitman: No. That's the beauty of the work that I do, for example. It's not about going, and I'm not cutting down therapy because I used to do therapy and it was very helpful as a foundation for shifting a lot of my limiting stuff, but therapy where you have to go and kind of look into the past, the beauty of this is that when you set a goal, and this is like the beautiful manifestation process, right, when you have a vision, when you have an intention, when you put a goal, whatever you want to call it, desire, it doesn't matter what it is, we usually have it because, again, we want to feel a certain way. We put it out there, right. I wish you could see me with my hands, but it's like we, at the place where we're creating that intention, are at a certain set point and this intention is at a different set point, so let me bring it back to money.
Maybe you make $100,000 a year, but your intention is that you want to make $200,000 a year. Now, obviously it's totally, I'm just using this as an example, put in the amount of dollars that you want. It could be $60,000, $100,000, whatever, but there's a gap between where you are and where you want to be. The only difference in that gap is the different vibration because there is a very different vibration from someone that makes $100,000 a year versus makes $200,000 or someone that makes six figures versus seven figures. The only difference is that there's an energetic vibration that has to happen. So when you start to create a new intention, you then have to become the energy and feel the vibration and that means even making it up sometimes and imagining it and conjuring it and visualizing it. You have to get the gap closed, and the only way to do that is vibrationally. You have to ask yourself, okay, so I have this intention, whatever your intention is. For me is I wanted to become a New York Times Best Selling author, right. What's that going to feel like? What's that going to look like?
Melinda Wittstock: Right. So, you take on one of Natalie Ledwell's Mind Movies. Of course, Natalie was just recently on the podcast and talking about that visualization.
Christy Whitman: Yes. To take it deeper, it's the feeling. You can look at like a mind movie. Mind Movies is amazing. Natalie is one of my best friends. Her business is incredible. I've seen her create such amazing things for herself and she's helped so many people. It's amazing to watch her. It's connecting. Surely you can say that, right. It's connecting to the mind movie or the vision, whatever you have, right. It could be a symbol of something, but the deepest part of it is that our thoughts have a vibration, but it's our emotions that have more intense vibration, and if you get right down to it, as real as this world feels, as what we can see and taste and touch and all of that, we are in a vibratory universe and everything is first created by vibration and energy. So, if you are visualizing, like you got your mind movie and you're visualizing it, sinking into the feeling sense is what's going to help raise your vibration, and here's the beauty of it. How you manage the gap, because you were asking do you have to go back and do all of the stuff, right. Here I am. I've got my mind movie. I've got my intention, but there's a gap between where I am and where I want to be, right. Whatever is limiting you in your present moment about that new vision is going to come up. Can I just share a quick story?
Melinda Wittstock: Yes, please.
Christy Whitman: One of the things that I've agreed with my husband is I get Saturdays; he gets Sundays. Saturdays are for me to go get a massage, take care of myself, go shopping if I want. I get to be Christy. I'm not a mom. I'm not a wife. I'm not a business woman. I'm not a coach, a healer. I'm Christy. I get to spend Christy time. My husband gets Sunday. I'm getting a massage on a Saturday morning. I'm just totally relaxed and all of the sudden I start to feel anxious and I'm experiencing anxiety as I'm relaxed on a massage table getting a fantastic massage. So, because I'm curious and because I'm doing this work for a long time, I started asking myself, why am I feeling anxious? What is this anxiety about? Underneath that was fear.
What I do know is under any type of fear, like A Course in Miracles talks about there are only two emotions. There's fear and love. Well, fear comes from somewhere, and for me it's all about lack or abundance. When you are feeling any type of fear about anything, it's because you're perceiving some kind of lack, either that you're not enough, that you don't have enough, that there's not potential for enough. It's all coming from that. So, I sensed that I was feeling fear, so I asked my fear, I asked my emotions, what is the fear about? I heard a voice say, inside of myself, I must sound like Cybil, the voice said to me, “You've used it all up.” I said, I've used what all up? “Your success” because I had massive success. I was doing $1.5 million launches in my business. I mean, huge success. All of the sudden it was like, you've used it all up. It's coming from that. I'm like, I've used what all up. “Your success.”
And so that part of me that still believes that there's only a certain amount of success to go around, there's only a certain amount like if there's a pie and I've used up my pie. Like I've eaten up my pie. Now what am I supposed to do? Well, in this universe that we live in, it's unlimited. There is no pie. I don't have a pie. I've got a bakery. I can make as many pies as I want to, right. So in that moment I had to shift the energy and find that place within myself where I had blocked energy that said, you've used it up. I let that energy go and I got into the place of feeling abundant, of bringing in the truth, bringing in that vibration of abundance, and I haven't had a thought of that again. So, it's in the moment when you hear a thought tell you something where you're like, what? Where did that come from? That's because you created a new intention to rise to a different level, and your psyche is telling you, well, in order to get that you have to let go of this and this is just at the bottom and the basis of anything whether you call it a thought, a feeling, a belief, a perspective, it's energy. If you release that, you then buoy up to allow yourself to be in the vibratory place of where you want to be. I was going to say, only to, because we are creative beings, only to make a new intention to then create the gap and have to …
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah. It's like an ongoing process. It never really ends. I mean, I think the sooner we except that, the fact that there is no destination, right. There's no like mountaintop that we climb and we get to the top of the mountain and that's it. It doesn't stop. Ping Fu who was on my podcast sometime back, the inventor of 3D printing, amazing woman. She said, the problem with climbing to the top of the mountain is you get to the top and there's only one view.
Christy Whitman: The mountain.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah. Like, you've got to come down and then to go up the next one or whatever. That's just so true of life. I wanted to go back though to this concept of letting go. I read a wonderful transformational book for me not so long ago. There were two of them. One was The Untethered Soul and then the next was The Surrender Experiment, both by the same author, Michael Singer, and it really is about the concept of letting go, just letting go of these emotions or beliefs or whatever. He had an interesting tactic that whenever triggered by something that triggers any kind of negative emotion that it's actually an opportunity just to say, eh, I don't need that. Let it go. For a while I struggled. Like, I guess it was the left brain ego. Honestly, I struggled with like how do you let go? What's the methodology for letting go? All this sort of stuff. I like wrapped myself up into this like knot, right, trying to figure out how to do it. And then I just finally realized. I was in meditation one day and I was just like, oh ho, this is so funny. I'm just going to let it go, right. I started to visualize either like a wave washing over me or a wind or whatever, just taking it away or whatever it is you have to do.
I was going to ask you, going back to my original thing, for anybody thinking, letting to. Like, how do you let go? What do you let go of and all that kind of stuff. What's your methodology or best advice for that?
Christy Whitman: Well, you know, first of all, language is huge. You know, it even says in the Bible, which I'm not a big Bible person, but it says in the Bible that first there was the word. Words for us have such huge meaning and huge imprints and background and all that stuff. Letting go for me feels like, oh, if I let go, I'm going to lose. There's a loss. I'm going to be, oh my God, but releasing, that's a different story. It's easy for me to release something. If letting go feels good to you, great, but for me it's like, it's a release. When I can allow myself to just feel my body releasing, I just take a deep breath. For anybody, let's just do an experience right now. Whatever you're feeling, just attune to your own physical body and if you feel any tightness at all whether it's in your shoulders. You might have lower back tightness, your knees, whatever, that's all stuck energy. I've had women that I've just worked with that have had knee problems and back problems for years and we released the energy and they don't have problems in their knees and their back or their shoulders.
Melinda Wittstock: Okay. I'm coming to visit you. You need to do that for me, sister.
Christy Whitman: Of course.
Melinda Wittstock: I swear to God, I have like arthritic knees.
Christy Whitman: Yeah. It's all energy because we hold, as individuals, we all kind of go, okay. We don't say, okay, you know what, now I'm going to hold onto my energy, and my knees have knee problems. I mean, we don't do that, right. But it's like whenever we have an impact. You brought up Michael Singer, The Tethered Soul. When I read that book I was just screaming because I'm like, yes. Finally someone has described what I do as an energy healer because I help people just release that blocked spiraling energy to then be free so that you're back in the space of being in that allowing, being in that expanded space. So just in this moment if you could just find a place wherever you have any type of discomfort, in your knees, your back, wherever it is. So, Melinda, for you it would obviously be in your knees, right?
Melinda Wittstock: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Christy Whitman: Just see your knees and feel your knees and understand that right there, there is energy that is stuck. You could see it as almost like debris. Another way I like to say it is like if you were a pipe, imagine yourself to be a pipe. You've got stuck stuff in your pipe, right, and you need to Rotor Rooter it and kind of release all that energy so that your life force, so that what you're breathing in can be this complete, clear, positive energy flowing through your cells, flowing through your body. If you imagine your knees or wherever you have it, imagine that there's stuck energy there and because this is big, you are the energy master of your own physical body. You're the energy master of your multiverse. We're all in the universe together, but we all have our own multiverse. So, the world that you see through, the world that you're creating, this is your own multiverse.
So you, being in your own physical body, and you having this co-creative relationship with your physical body, here is the coolest thing, your body is at your command. So, if you want to have your body look, feel, whatever, be different, all you have to do is ask it to be and feel the release. So, if this energy, this problem has been there for a while, it might take a few times to do this, but imagine your knees and just imagine whatever debris is there. You don't have to necessarily see it, but if you can imagine the cloggedness, it's just clogged and all that's happening is your energy is not being able to flow freely, so just imagine like a golden ball of light above your head, a very healing ball of light.
Christy Whitman: So just imagine that this light is coming down through the top of your head and going into those areas. For example, just power washing away that energy in your knee, anything that's stuck, and it's interesting, because the knees, Louise Hay in her groundbreaking work years ago, if you can look at what the knees represent, right, and a lot of times it's the hips, the knees, the ankles, it's the fear of moving forward. A lot of times there might be things that have what I call bushwhacked us, where we're like, “Oh, oh my God,” and it's like that energy gets stuck. So for someone, we use it as a, “Well, I have knee problems, so I can't do this.” It's a way to limit ourselves. But our bodies are meant to be in its original design in perfect health and we are designed to be in well being. We are designed to create the most amazing lives for ourselves with abundance. We're not supposed to struggle and have pain and go through all this stuff.
When we understand energy and understand that we can attune to vibrations that exist out there, so let me get really out there for a second. We live in a holographic universe, and what that means is that any energy that you feel like creating, any reason why you want to have more money or want to create greater success or whatever, there's a reason. There's an essence. You're wanting to feel the essence of success. You're wanting to feel the essence of joy. You're wanting to feel the essence of freedom. These are the reasons why we want most of the things that we want.
: The vibrations of joy, the vibrations of success and freedom, exist all around us all the time. We just have to be the antenna to attune to it to allow it to come into your body, and any time we're off, where we're in limitation, that's our cue to go, “Oh, I'm feeling the pain. There's stuck energy.” Let me allow this energy to come in to where the pain is and to flow through and to release that energy out our legs, into Mother Earth, where it's going to be reused and recycled, and just breathing in that energy of well being, breathing in and allowing into every single cell in your body. Imagining each cell in your body has a consciousness, because it does. It has awareness, and your cells can attune to that feeling that you're after, the freedom, the success, the joy.
Melinda Wittstock: Mm. Gosh, that's just so beautiful. It's interesting what you say about like a knee, these different body parts having different symbolism, I guess.
Christy Whitman: Yes.
Melinda Wittstock: Like literally neck pain I always thought was, because I had that for years, neck and shoulders, literally carrying the weight of the world around with me.
Christy Whitman: Yes. It's true. It's very true. Yeah, our backs, our lower backs, a lot of times, women have lower back problems. It's because we don't feel supported. So when we can shift our perspective that we're not supported … Imagine this, right, you're a 6-year-old little girl and you want mommy and daddy's help with something, and they are just too busy, because they're, you know, I get it now as a parent, right, they're trying to make us dinner or they're trying to do the laundry or they're doing other things and so they can't support us in the picture that we're drawing or whatever it is, and so we then ourselves, we make decisions about the nature of reality. “Oh, well, I'm just not supported. Nobody's there to help me. I've got to do it all by myself,” and so that becomes an imprint.
Good news is, those things can be shifted and you can go back and change that and really conjure up the feeling of being supported, because the truth is, we are. When you just think about the fact that we're on a floating globe in the middle of the galaxy and as you get up from your desk and you walk, the floor completely supports you. So whatever you have to shift your perspective to say with each step that you take, “I am supported. I am supported. I am supported.” When you start to believe that you are supported and you release the energy in your back that tells you that you're not supported, your back actually heals and you will start to feel that you are supported. People come out of the woodwork to be able to support you in ways … This was a big one for me, “I'm not supported and I have to do everything myself,” and I would have lower back pain.
When I started shifting the energy around that and shifting my perspective, I cannot tell you, I have so much support in my life. I'm deeply … It brings me to tears when I think about it, how much support I have, not only from the universe and from all the things that I want and desire and knowing that I'm being guided towards that path and that there's like a yellow brick road right in front of me, and that's truly what I believe, but from my husband, the way he supports me in parenting and in our relationship together and the people in my business that support me and they're so loyal and dedicated. I would've never been able to create any of that if I didn't shift my perspective and shift the energy of not being supported.
Melinda Wittstock: This is so fascinating, because all so often in business, we go to all these different … We have to have practical learning, how to do this, how to do that, all those practical things, but without really going deep on the inner work, we can spin our wheels, getting educated and credentialed in every aspect of every part of business, without solving this, that can be … we won't get there.
Christy Whitman: Well, that's exactly what I write about in Quantum Success. The formula to have, not just linear, step-by-step success. I'm talking massive, unapologetic, just ridiculous success. We have to tap into a force, to a source that's bigger than us, and that is alignment, and then we as the physical human being, have to take momentum. We have to take action. So the formula for quantum success is alignment and momentum, and if we do one or the other, we will have success.
If we continue to push and strive and go and go until we don't get any sleep, the lifestyle that we have is completely nonexistent because we're just pushing and trying to strive and everything we've got going on is our career. There's people that do that, and there's people that are exhausted and overwhelmed. It's like they have success, but it's never enough. They're creating massive momentum, but where is the alignment?
And then you've got other people that align themselves all day long, and meditate and they do this, but they're not creating any action. They're not doing anything to like … Like you're saying, they don't have the knowledge, they don't have the skill set, they don't have the strategies and take those actual steps to create the momentum. They're falling short, too. But it's when you combine both the alignment and the momentum, Oh sister, it's like getting into a car that has a turbo boost, and you're going to go where you want to go faster in a more safer way.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, taking inspired action.
Christy Whitman: Yes.
Melinda Wittstock: What's interesting is that we can all work hard and have this long task list of things, or we can do the things that are inspired that really have leverage, and so many women, I think there are all these patterns that have merged on this podcast where we can often be very perfectionist. We can wait too long to hire people or just not even ask for help. Underprice ourselves, over deliver, all these sorts of things. All the different things that particularly show up for a lot of female entrepreneurs who get stuck on that startup sticky floor, or get to a certain point where they have a practice, but not a business. It can't scale. All these things are the things that stand in the way of scale. What were some of those ones that you had to kind of recover from? What are some of the ones that you see women doing most, like the problem that they're doing most that if they could just tweak a couple of things, can get out of that perfectionism, procrastination, kind of not hiring fast enough and really focusing in on understanding and acting in a leveraged way?
Christy Whitman: Yeah, there is much I could say on just procrastination alone or just even perfectionism alone, but the thing is, is that it's really about control. If we can let ourselves be in more of an allowing space than trying to control everything and feel like we have to do it alone … I remember getting to a place where I was teaching all of my courses for the Quantum Success Coaching Academy and I remember there was a moment where I was like, “I'm exhausted. I can't do this anymore.” I was teaching four classes a week and I was just a new mom and I was teaching classes at 9:00 at night because it's an international business and so I had people all over the world that were taking it, and for me, it was like, “I need support. I need help.” And so I actually hired another student of mine that had been going through and really understood and was embracing and applying the tools and information that I had taught her, and I trained her to become a teacher.
I remember that moment, it was like, “Oh, God.” It's like I need to just let the control go that she's going to do it exactly how I do it, or she's going to even be better than I am, or all the fears that came up. But allowing her to take those night classes for me freed me up so that I was able to … I wasn't as exhausted, and then from there, it grew because then we went from like 50 students a semester to like 350 students a semester. So I had to hire even more teachers and train more teachers and really let go of the control.
I grew up with, “If you want something done, you've got to do it yourself.” That was my dad's mentality. He was an entrepreneur. The man was the hardest working person I've ever seen. He literally retired at 85. He's now 86. Just the grind of, “It's got to be done by me. Only by me. Only by me,” and “I'm the only one that can do it right. I'm the only one …” you know, and I had to let that upbringing and that control, I had to let that go in order for me to expand. Because with 350 students a semester, I couldn't have taught all those students. I had, at one point, four different teachers. So for me, it's really about letting go of that … that control, that grip, and allowing yourself to feel that freedom, and what do you need to do to let go of that?
Melinda Wittstock: Right. Gosh. So there's so much more that we could talk about. You're going to have to come back on again.
Christy Whitman: I'd love to.
Melinda Wittstock: You will come back on again when your book comes out closer to September-
Christy Whitman: I'd love to.
Melinda Wittstock: … because there's so much more to talk about. These are big topics and game changing for everybody. There's a couple things that I want to, as we come to the end, that I want to get really specific on. A lot of people have the wrong people around them, toxic people. Outwardly obviously toxic, but then there's the subtle kind, you know, where people say things, well-meaning people, family, friends, like, “Are you sure you should do that?” And they're doing it from … They think they're being kind …
Christy Whitman: Or helpful, yeah.
Melinda Wittstock: But they're not. So who are the sort of people that entrepreneurs need to be around, and what's your best advice for how to eliminate that stuff from your life and go find the people who are really going to be inspiring and at that higher vibration to lift you up there, too?
Christy Whitman: Well, there's a couple. This is another whole hour topic, but there are people in our lives, say maybe our husbands or maybe our … I'm grateful not mine. My ex-husband was like that. Family, you know. I literally, we're flying on Monday morning to fly from Arizona to Montreal to get out of the summer for Arizona to fly to Montreal, and I was talking to my uncle, well-intentioned guy, loves me, and he said, “Well, how are you guys getting to the airport tomorrow?” and I said, “Uber,” and he's like, “Are you sure the Uber's going to show up at 3:00 in the morning?” I looked at him, and I'm like, “Yup. I am 100% sure that the Uber that I scheduled is going to show up at 3:00 in the morning.” But just even that, it's like, he is well intentioned, right, but putting in that seed of doubt. Right?
So it's up to us, because we can't control, there's that control thing again, we can't control what people say. We can't control what people do. So when you have someone that's well intentioned, if what they say affects you in some way, if you have an emotional reaction to it, something like that years ago, I would've been like, “Ugh! Oh, my God,” and I would've gotten offended and the whole thing. Now, it's like when those, it's like breathing it in, “Yup, that is a possibility that the Uber driver wouldn't show up,” but my reality is that he's going to show up or she's going to show up, and I know that when I open my door at 3:00 in the morning, the Uber … you know, so I had to shift that in myself to be able to manifest my reality based on my emotions. So if that would've gone in there and I allowed that seed of doubt to come in, then I might've created and made that my reality, where we're sitting there waiting to go to the airport and there's nobody to pick us up.
So that's a small little example, right, but it might be … I could tell you stories about mother-in-law and sister-in-law and all that, and things that they've said, and it's like, I had to work the emotions. Whatever button was pushed in me by what they said or did, it's my button, and completely have transformed my relationship with my mother, a very, very toxic relationship with my mother, literally to the point where I remember when my baby, who's now nine, he was laying on the floor and I was kind of putting my hair in front of him, and she made a very rude comment. She's like, “Get out of the way. We don't want to see you. We want to see the baby,” and I looked at her, and I just was like, “You're a bitch!”
: Just all that frustration, all that anger, from all those years of being discounted and pushed away. My mother's a wonderful person, but she has those moments. She's human. And I just felt so angry, I just … To now, literally nine years later, having my mom be one of my biggest cheerleaders, and to have her tell me how proud she is of me. All of that work … My mom didn't do any work. I did the work. I did the shifting of how I perceived her. It's like right when we started this conversation. Every relationship begins and ends inside of us first. So if I hold my mom inside of myself as critical, as judgmental, as always against me, as so dismissive, as all these things, that's the only way that she can show up for me in my reality. But as I shifted inside and tell myself that my mom loves me and she supports me and I release again the energy of those imprints, the relationship completely changed.
: So that's one side of the equation. The other side of the equation is that I always have a coach or a mentor, because I know that left to my own devices, if I want to create something I haven't created before, I need someone to help be that vision, be that beacon of light, be that North Star, like you were saying, to be able to show me a different way. And I also allow myself to invest in myself and get involved in masterminds, like [inaudible 01:08:19 that we're involved in, Melinda. I surround myself deliberately. I go out of my way to be able to be in the energetic field of people that are living where I want to live and that are living at the vibration that I want to live, so that when I'm at a family function and someone says something like, “Oh, the Uber driver's not going to show up,” I can go, “Thank you for your opinion. That's not my reality, but thank you for sharing,” and be able to stay neutral when the negativity or the toxic people are around.
Now, last thing I'm going to say about this. If someone is toxic and abusive and says things to you, it's up to us to teach people how to treat us and how to react and respond with us. Now, we can't say, “You cannot act like that.” It's like people think creating boundaries is something that it's completely not. We can't try to force or control or change another person, but when my sister-in-law says something like, “Oh, Alex is … I have Alex and Maxim, and Alex is my oldest, Maxim is my youngest, “Alex is, he's such a good boy, but Maxim really has that something special. Maxim is just amazing. You know, Alex is a lot like you, and Maxim is a lot like Frederick,” which is his sister. So basically saying that Frederick and Maxim are super special and that Alex is okay and Alex is just like me. It was more intense to that, but it was just, I went, “Ouch,” and she looked at me, and I go, “That didn't feel good.” “What do you mean?”
Some people are not even aware of the things that they say and how hurtful and unconscious it is, but by us, my boundary is, “Ouch! That was an ouch. That really did not feel good.” “What didn't feel good?” “Well, basically you said that Maxim's super special and that he takes after Alex and that you know, Alex is very difficult and Alex takes after me. That's basically what you just …” “Oh, I didn't realize I said that.” That was me putting up my boundary saying, “No. Don't treat me like that. Don't talk like that around me.” But coming from myself and not trying to change her or make her wrong. It was me owning my own feelings and, “Ouch, that really did not feel good.”
Christy Whitman: It's in those moments that go, “That doesn't feel good to me,” where we have to stand up for ourselves, and that's a whole other topic.
Melinda Wittstock: It is. It's a whole other topic. It's all about boundaries and everything. Oh, my God, I could talk to you for hours. We'll have like an eight hour podcast or …
Christy Whitman: I love it.
Melinda Wittstock: I can hardly wait for our next time out, and Christy, what a delight. First of all, just a couple questions to just how can people find you and work with you, and do you have any kind of special offer for our listeners today?
Christy Whitman: Yes. Yes, I do. As a matter of fact, my new book is coming out, Quantum Success, you had said the title of it, and so I want to gift all of your listeners with a free book. All they have to do is pay for shipping. The book is like $24, it's a hard copy book that I call my big girl book, and it's coming out in September, so just go to quantumsuccessbook.com and you'll have the information right there, and you just have to pay $7 for shipping if it's in the United States. I think it's $14.95 if you're in international, but I will send the book as soon as it's released. You'll actually get an activity sheet to start you with a video explaining to start you on this process of creating quantum success in the interim, and you could also go to christywhitman.com and I've got some different meditation series there to help you start really releasing the energy of limitation and lack and get you to start being in the energetic vibration of being abundant.
Melinda Wittstock: Oh, how wonderful. Thank you, that's so generous. I encourage everybody to go get that, and then Christy, of course, will be back on the podcast closer to the launch of the book sometime in September, so we'll get that all sorted out, as well. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting on your wings and flying with us today.
Christy Whitman: Thank you, Melinda.