486 Megan Fenyoe:
Megan is an Amazon Best Selling Author and her new book “You Are Enough: 5 Steps To Move From Struggle To Strength” is the perfect book to add to your reading list right now.
Megan says she’s gone through many struggles in life most recently escaping a narcissistic abusive marriage. She was left traumatized and started to question if she was enough. I know that one all too much in my own life.
Megan’s life began to change when she finally said yes to herself and walked away from the abuse. She has successfully transformed every area of her life using her proven 5 Step System and is now living a vibrant, beautiful life. A life where she truly believes she is enough.
Through coaching, leadership, consulting and now her I Am Enough TV show and I am Enough Movement, Megan has helped hundreds of people accurately assess their challenges and identify ways they can change – capitalizing on the strengths they already have while building new ones. A mental health therapist, Megan focuses on cognitive restructuring and reality testing thoughts as well as a host of other Cognitive-Behavioral Techniques (CBT) – her mission is to help you build confidence, find clarity in getting what you truly want in life, get inspired to take action, and empower you to believe you are enough!
Melinda Wittstock: Megan, welcome to Wings.
Megan Fenyoe: Thank you so much for having me.
Melinda Wittstock: I’m excited to talk to you too. I love what you’re doing with I Am Enough TV and the I Am Enough movement. In midst of all the coronavirus the mindset of being enough to live up to this particular time in our history is something. What’s inspiring you through all of this?
Megan Fenyoe: I definitely think what is inspiring me is the pictures I see of healthcare workers, and doctors, and nurses, and definitely people that are putting themselves kind of at risk to help others. That is definitely inspiring me.
Megan Fenyoe: Also, being at home is really inspiring me to help me understand and accept the fact that it’s okay to not be busy all the time, and it’s okay to take time for yourself, and it’s okay to be okay in the moment of solitude and silence.
Melinda Wittstock: It’s actually a really good time I think now to look within and get into alignment. I mean, the one thing that this is showing us is all the areas where institutions and whatnot are broken or were unprepared or whatever. For an entrepreneur, I always go into problem solving. I’ve always believed too that entrepreneurs are the best to actually really figure out creative and innovative solutions to what is going on right now. So I love this looking within, because I think the answers are often there.
Megan Fenyoe: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Definitely. I think that that’s exactly true. Because it has been kind of interesting seeing different businesses and things, kind of how they’re handling all of this when the majority of us entrepreneurs already work from home anyway. So it hasn’t been much of a change, at least for me, to say the least.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah. We all have challenges and struggles in our lives, and we’re all, of course, grappling with coronavirus. But your whole perspective on going from struggle to strength, recovering from a narcissistic, abusive marriage. That’s one I know too. I’ve shared that with you on how much that rips apart your confidence and so much more besides. What are the biggest lessons that you’ve learned from struggle?
Megan Fenyoe: Goodness. I think definitely the biggest lesson I’ve learned is it’s okay to be vulnerable in regards to sharing your story, and it’s okay to not be okay. I think that that was a huge lesson for me, because I am a mental health therapist and was also involved in this narcissistic, abusive marriage. It’s okay to not have it all together and it’s okay to ask for help.
Megan Fenyoe: I think for so long I acted like I had it all together. Now I’ve embraced vulnerability and authenticity, and really portrayed who I am, which I’m able to do because of my belief that I am enough. So I think just such a big lesson. I mean, that’s a huge question that I definitely just think it’s really about allowing yourself to be seen and accepting yourself when things aren’t okay.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, that’s beautifully said. I think especially in the entrepreneurial space, there’s such a pressure to sort of fake it till we make it. I think one of the things that coronavirus is showing all of us, I mean, we all need help right now. It is okay. Because everybody is being challenged in different ways, but all at the same time. So perhaps it’s an opportunity or a lesson to really be able to exercise that muscle a little bit.
Melinda Wittstock: As you’ve grown your business, and your podcast, your TV show, all the amazing things you’re doing in the world, if you could distill it down to three pieces of advice that you would share with female founders and women in business, what would those three be?
Megan Fenyoe: Oh my gosh. When you had asked me that question just now, what words came up for me are my values, my top three values. I really think the more that we are authentic in what we do and have integrity and are honest in the things that we do, the more success we are going to see in our business and in the way of helping people. So I definitely think that those three key pieces, integrity, authenticity, and honesty, are foundations for a successful business.
Melinda Wittstock: They really are. I want you to just break that down a little bit. Talk to me about integrity in business and what that means in practice. How does somebody be in integrity in all ways in their business?
Megan Fenyoe: That’s a whole other show, I think.
Melinda Wittstock: I know, I know. Okay. Well, since it’s the-
Megan Fenyoe: No, I can-
Melinda Wittstock: … Mentoring Minisode, we can keep it pretty simple. But I mean, I ask you particularly about that word because that matters so much to me, and there are a lot of people who are out of integrity. So how do you live that yourself and how do you know if somebody else is in integrity?
Megan Fenyoe: It’s literally by their actions and their behaviors. So if you’re providing a service to someone and you’re not following through with that, obviously you’re not acting in integrity. If you truly are one person on social media and you’re a complete different person off social media, you’re not acting in integrity. If you make a mistake and you do something wrong or you hurt someone or you upset a client or something like that, and you don’t acknowledge that, you’re not acting in integrity.
Megan Fenyoe: When you ask for money from someone and you don’t deliver what you say you’re going to do, you’re not acting in integrity. Which that has happened a lot for me in the last two years as an entrepreneur. So that’s a big one, right? Is if you don’t know what you’re talking about, if you aren’t honestly trained or have the necessary tools to deliver what you say you’re going to deliver, please don’t do it, because you’re not acting in integrity.
Melinda Wittstock: Oh gosh.
Megan Fenyoe: [crosstalk 00:07:49].
Melinda Wittstock: Yes, right. I can’t think of the times. I mean, whether they’re web developers, or coders, or people who are going to do PR for you, or whatever it is, and they say this whole thing. Then they kind of like don’t deliver.
Melinda Wittstock: The people who survive in really tough times are going to be the people who are in integrity. We know it’s going to be tough for everybody, but this is the moment really, I think, to shine.
Melinda Wittstock: Do you have other advice for people right now as they’re looking at their businesses and perhaps they see their revenue completely drying up, or because their customers can’t pay them, or they run an events business or a travel business or something like that that requires physical contact and they need to pivot or any matter of challenges. They’re in the middle of a fundraising round, and suddenly all the money’s dried up. How can people have the resilience through this period to get through?
Megan Fenyoe: It’s literally learning to take things one day at a time and not, what I call, future trip. This is more of like the therapy piece. Because the more that we future trip and do the what ifs, the more anxiety we are going to feel and we’re not going to get through each day appropriately, right? Because we’re worried about things that may or may not happen.
Megan Fenyoe: Also, the resilience part piece is using this time to maybe find something else that you love, right? Or get involved in something else that you maybe have wanted to get involved with or love. I always tell my patients, “Literally this is the time where you have to think outside the box, and trying to stay focused on the here and now and not the future.”
Melinda Wittstock: Amen. Absolutely. We have power over what we’re doing right now, so I always say focus on the things that you have control over. Other things, you can’t really control. If you’re in the future or in the past, you’re not really in the present moment and you don’t really have any empowerment at all. So it’s very, very good advice, Megan. Thank you so much.
Megan Fenyoe: Thank you.
Melinda Wittstock: I want to make sure that people can find you. Your podcast, your TV show, work with you, all of that. What’s the best way?
Megan Fenyoe: Best way is just my website, MeganFenyoe.com. Social media, everything is Megan Fenyoe.
Melinda Wittstock: Wonderful. Thank you so much for putting on your wings and flying with us today.
Megan Fenyoe: Thank you so much for having me.