290 Ruby Fremon: Failure Is An Opportunity
Ruby Fremon is a “breakthrough” coach helping thought leaders align with their true authentic purpose. Creator of the 3-day leadership training intensive Amplified Soul Live® and named an “Inspirational Woman” by the Huffington Post, Ruby shares how to embrace and overcome failure: Why it is an opportunity for learning and growth, why all entrepreneurs must embrace risk and take ownership.
Melinda Wittstock: Ruby, welcome to Wings.
Ruby Fremon: Melinda, I'm so excited to be here today.
Melinda Wittstock: I am so excited to talk to you. I was so grateful to meet you back at the new media summit last year where we were both icons of influence and I love everything that you're up to so as we enter this New Year of ours, I'm curious what's inspiring you right now?
Ruby Fremon: What's inspiring me is the idea of evolution and I've been on this for at least the last eight months or so, but it's the idea of taking your evolution into your own hands and what that means and what that looks like for me is doing what ever I can possibly do to enhance, nurture and honor my evolution both as just a human being and as a leader.
Melinda Wittstock: I love that, that's beautiful.
Ruby Fremon: Thank you.
Melinda Wittstock: So all of us as entrepreneurs and business leaders, thought leaders, coaches, we all have challenges in when we go out and we create something or we kind of dare to dream or live into our true purpose. What are some of the challenges that have come up for you recently?
Ruby Fremon: Yeah, recently, the idea of failure now, failure is something that I'm new to, I aspire to fail every day, but when you work so hard at something and it's not panning out the way you want it to and when you've put all your time, money, resources, energy, blood, sweat, tears into it and it doesn't work out the way you wanted it to or as quickly as you want it to, it's disappointing. And then that's where the opportunity is, is like digging into that disappointment, why am I actually feeling disappointment, what's actually going on here, what's really happening underneath this, but that's been one of my biggest challenges as of recently just feeling like failure and then also observing that within me and digging into it like where is this actually coming from what does this actually mean.
Melinda Wittstock: Oh Gosh, beautifully said because I think when we feel like that it's like a failure for whom is, it's somebody else's judgment of what we should be?
Ruby Fremon: Exactly. Our listeners too, like we all have these expectations that you place on yourself, some of them may not even be yours and then some of them may not even aligned with what you're actually truly trying to build. So whenever you have that feeling of feeling like a failure come up, that's an opportunity to dig in and ask yourself what's actually going on like what's really going on behind the scenes.
Melinda Wittstock: I love that. I've learned to do a very similar thing that whenever I'm triggered by anything like a person or negative self talk or like any of these things, it's like, oh look, it's an opportunity to … at least something. And you just have to like reframe it like that. Like, oh wow it's great. It's an opportunity.
Ruby Fremon: Yeah and the moment you do, you start to see the opportunity, it's amazing.
Melinda Wittstock: It's really true. It's amazing how much our minds, if we can control our minds consciously, how much that changes the game for all of us in business and in life and so along the way, if you were to give three pieces of advice to women in business, female founders, women entrepreneurs, what would be your top three pieces of advice?
Ruby Fremon: Number one, dare to fail as much as you dare to succeed.
Melinda Wittstock: I love that. We learn in failing, right?
Ruby Fremon: Yeah and also when you do that it gives you that sense of permission to just take risks and throw spaghetti on the wall and just do things that you wouldn't normally do so that's one of my favorites.
Number two is take ownership, so rather than blaming your coaches or the people that you've invested in, like really own it, take ownership for your choices and decisions for where you're at because that is the most empowering thing you can do for your business and what you're creating.
Then number three would be lean in to support. That is something that I've been doing a lot more recently and it is such a game changer and when I say lean into, I mean really lean into support, ask for support and then receive support and receive it fully.
Melinda Wittstock: We all struggle to receive things I find and so that's a really, really a good point and I always have to remind myself and also tell other people that people really like to give. If you're unwilling to receive your sort of dissing them.
Ruby Fremon: Exactly, it's just not the polite thing to do. I mean, you're really just throwing their gift back in their face, but also for you to receive that gift and to receive it fully is allowing yourself to feel supported. I can't tell you how many times I've heard my clients say I'm not supported, I don't feel supported and then when I ask them, well, have you asked for support, the answer is always no. So we get in our own way when it comes to support, so really receive the support when it comes your way and don't be afraid to ask for it.
Melinda Wittstock: So true. So Ruby, how can people find you and work with you?
Ruby Fremon: You can find me all over social media @iamruby, you can find me on my website, Rubyframeon.com and I am very, very engaged on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, so if you send me a message, I'll be there or just reach out to me traditionally through the website.
Melinda Wittstock: That's wonderful. Thank you so much for putting on your wings and flying with us.
Ruby Fremon: Thank you, this was fun.