246 MINISODE Whitney Cox: No More ‘Should’s’

Whitney Cox left a big Wall Street career behind to transform her life and in the process she saved her own life. With her life coaching business Warrior Girl and now living the life of her dreams in Colombia, Whitney shares her advice about how to align your business with your soul purpose and why you must avoid “should’s” and “to do’s” because all too often these words suggest we’re fulfiling someone elses’ dreams and not our own.

Melinda Wittstock:         Whitney, welcome to Wings.

Whitney Cox:                    Hello. It's so great to be here. Thanks for having me.

Melinda Wittstock:         I'm excited to talk to you. I always want to get right into what's inspiring you right now?

Whitney Cox:                    Well, Melinda, I am so fired up right now because I am working on a retreat. It's called The Warriors of the Road Less Traveled Retreat. I am bringing them down here to my beloved Columbia, my adopted home.

The idea is really taking these warriors on an adventure of a lifetime where it's finding a Columbia that's not in any guidebooks, let me tell you that, but also touching upon spiritual, emotional workshops. We're going to be doing body movement, getting to know the local culture, adventure.

It's all really been carefully curated by myself to help people really awaken their heart and soul to a higher calling. I am so excited. Columbia is the land where I really transformed my life. It's given me a second chance on life and I'm so excited to be sharing that with other people.

Melinda Wittstock:         Oh my goodness. Yes. You have been through so many challenges, not least of which leaving a Wall Street career behind but also surviving breast cancer and recreating your whole life. Not like you haven't had challenges already, what are some of the ones that are challenging you right now?

Whitney Cox:                    You know, I would have to say right now as a female entrepreneur I really think being an entrepreneur is basically like putting a mirror on all of your insecurities.

Melinda Wittstock:         Yes. I know that to be true. Yeah.

Whitney Cox:                    It's like an amplifier. As a woman, I am, not to date myself, 40 years old, not married, I don't have kids.

From the time we're little girls we're basically given this message that first and foremost that we need to be mothers above all else in order to be considered a success. The entrepreneur world has been a bit of a boy's club, right?

I think for women … I don't know, Melinda, if you've had this experience but sometimes you almost feel like you don't have any mentors, right? For men entrepreneurs you can think of millions of examples of people to follow.

As women, I think we have this … It's almost like the odds are stacked against us, right? First, we're supposed to be mothers, we're supposed to be wives, we're supposed to be awesome at doing that. Then we also have to figure out what it is to be an entrepreneur and what that means if you don't have those things already.

I think that's what has been really interesting at least for myself as I go down this path. It's like sometimes I have this doubt. I'm like, “Well, maybe I don't have what it takes to be an entrepreneur” because the idea that we have as entrepreneurs I think historically has really been a male-dominated industry.

Melinda Wittstock:         Oh gosh. It's so true. There's so few female role models. This is why I created Wings of Success. I mean, Wings of Success is my online summit where I bring together 60 women with seven, eight, and nine figure businesses. Also, this podcast as well to feature all of us who are succeeding in silence. You know?

It's like we look around and where are all the role models? We're there. It's increasingly being established that there are women doing amazing things. You know what? We really do really, really well when we create our own rules. It sounds like that's exactly what you're doing.

Whitney Cox:                    Yeah. Yeah. It's true. I definitely have not been the type of girl that has played traditionally by the rules. That's why I love your podcast so much. It's just such an honor to be a part of this. It's really one of the first places where I started to identify like, “Well, yeah. I can do this. I can do this. They're doing it. I can do it too.”

Melinda Wittstock:         Exactly. No, it's so, so true. Along your path, your journey so far, what do you think are the top three things that women need to know to be able to succeed as entrepreneurs? What's your go-to three pieces of advice?

Whitney Cox:                    Yeah. The first piece of advice is I would say that you are the owner of your own belief system. You need to throw out everything that you think you should be doing or you're supposed to be doing. Throw out the “should’s”, throw out the supposed to’s and you create the rules. I think that's the first and foremost. A belief system is just something that we all accept to be true and you can accept any belief to be true really. It's up to us. I would say that is really the first thing on the list.

The second thing on the list I would say is that it's so important to tap into your intuition. I know it sounds like a bit New Age-y. Believe me, I'm an ex-Wall Street trader. The idea of intuition for me just a few years ago was just totally out there in left field.

I think when you can get out of using your rational mind and you can get more in touch with your heart and the infinite wisdom that we have actually in our gut and inside of us that will … Because this is a path that this is not a non-traditional path. It's not a rational path in a lot of ways being an entrepreneur.

You need to be able to get in touch with the non-rational part of yourself. You do that through tapping into your intuition. I know you mentioned some meditation and other exercises that can help you. That would be the second point I would say.

Then I think the third point, the third tip, is really to change the way that you relate to your comfort zone. Instead of looking at it as a place that's filled with fear and uncertainty to look at it as a place where the magic happens. Right? We want to live an outside the box life and that requires being comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Melinda Wittstock:         Oh, gosh. Beautifully said. This is so true. You have this whole retreat happening. You're doing a lot of really amazing things. How can people find you and work with you?

Whitney Cox:                    Sure. My website is Whitney Cox Coaching dot com. Then you can also follow me on Instagram if you want to keep up with my adventures. That's Whitney Cox One. I also have a Facebook page and it's called Warrior Girls: Fight For the Life That You Love. You can also email me Whitney at Whitney Cox Coaching dot com.

Melinda Wittstock:         Wonderful. Well, thank you, Whitney for putting on your wings and flying with us.

Whitney Cox:                    Thank you. It's been a great flight.

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